Presidential goats – the enduring truth (it’s a mad, mad world!)
A recent prompt from WordPress encouraged me to revisit the standalone blog I wrote in 2019 about a wonderful trip to New Zealand. More specifically it pointed me to a post on that blog with the intriguing title “Where goats get to be President.” I have to confess I couldn’t remember writing this, so I was pleased to read it again. Partly because it seems whimsically witty and tolerably well written (do please forgive my immodesty, so un-British of me!), but mainly because of the enduring truth lurking at its core – increasingly, all over the world, goats are in charge.

If you’re still reading this you must think the Platypus Man has finally lost his mind entirely. So, without further ado, here is the post I published on 3 October 2019, just seven days before we boarded the flight to New Zealand.
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It can happen anywhere, I suppose. Ordinary citizens who are quietly minding their own business, living decent, honest lives and doing no harm to man nor beast, go to bed one evening and when they get up next day discover they’re being ruled by a goat.
As I sit at my laptop writing this I can think of at least two great nations with proud histories that are currently each led by someone whose demeanour and behaviour compare unfavourably with your average goat. I’ll leave the identity of the nations and individuals in question to your imagination!
But it’s not just the big boys that make unconventional political choices. Mrs P was telling me the other day that while we’re in New Zealand we’ll be passing close to the tiny Republic of Whangamomona.
Heard of it? Probably not. You could check it out on a BIG map of New Zealand, but take care not to drop any biscuit crumbs or you’ll never find it.
In 1988 the citizens of this unremarkable little town on New Zealand’s North Island showed their contempt for the local council by declaring Whangamomona a republic. Eleven years later, Whangamomonans plainly decided that a further protest was required, at which point local goat Billy the Kid was elected the town’s first non-human president.
Billy was followed in office by Tai the Poodle and Murtle the Turtle, although when the latter died in 2015 Whangamomona seemed to suffer a crisis of confidence and elected one Vicki Pratt as president, albeit against her will.
I can’t help admiring free spirits, individuals and communities that don’t take themselves – or life in general – too seriously. For this reason we’ll be sure to take a side-trip to Whangamomona in a couple of weeks, and drop in at the local hotel for lunch and to get our passports stamped.
Stunts like this are harmless fun, and also good for business if they encourage people like us to visit and spend money there. Across the world communities are always on the look out for the big idea, something that will make them stand out from the crowd and get them on tourists’ itineraries. In Whangamomona it’s all about republicanism in general, and goats in particular.
By way of contrast, as we discovered to our amusement a couple of years ago, one small town in Newfoundland, Canada, has banked everything on calling itself Dildo, no doubt hoping to bring in crowds of curious punters all desperate to feel earth move.
Makes Whangamomona’s obsession with goats seem almost normal, doesn’t it?
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See what I mean. You couldn’t make it up, could you? (no, I didn’t, honest!). When I wrote the post in question I probably thought we were all just going through a bad patch, and that before long the world would come to its senses and get rid of the goats. But as I look around me today at the conflict, chaos and misery afflicting so many countries across the globe, I can see I was wrong. In many places the goats are still in charge, going from strength to strength. And where they’re not in charge they are often on the rise, ramming at the doors of reason with their horns of hatred. It’s a mad, mad world, eh? Scary beyond belief.

Thank you, WordPress, for reminding me of this post, which sadly seems just as relevant today as it did seven years ago. I fervently wish it were not so.





























































